MLB Hotbox: Selig’s salary, Wells’ waistline . . .
Welcome to the first installment this season of our wildly-popular MLB Hotbox feature. Here, BaseballBigMouth.com writers The Heckler and Punch N. Judy go back-and-forth over some topical baseball happenings, you know, like a hotbox in baseball. Yes fans, there truly is no off position on the genius switch: we thought of that title all by ourselves. Ain’t we clever? But enough patting ourselves on the back like some modern-day Barry Horowitz, let’s get this puppy a runnin’! Ladies and gentlemen . . . you’re caught in the MLB Hotbox!
Does MLB commissioner Bud Selig really deserve to make $14 million per year?
Heckler says: Can’t say as I really have a problem with this. The man is essentially the CEO of one of the most-prolific corporations in America today (if not the world) and, as such, deserves to be paid a handsome salary for that position. Besides, that figure is hardly exorbitant. It’s basically the average salary of a top MLB player. He’s worth that. He has been at the helm during a real turnaround for the game and, barring he can get out the door before the you-know-what really hits the fan with the steroid scandal, should go out on top in good standing for a job essentially well-done. “Steroids? What steroids?!?” Easy Bud, I was just mentioning it, that’s all . . .
Punch N. Judy says: You raise a valid point that I never really took into consideration. MLB is beyond the realm of most Fortune 500 hundred companies. His salary does, however give one pause to consider what the individual teams really do haul in at seasons end. In any case, it will be hard to ever take the owners side again during a future labor dispute.
Heckler says: Baltimore comes to mind for me, and have so for a few years now. All huff and puff in signing free agents every year, yet in the end, they always end up blowing. Once Miguel Tejada whines his way outta there, what’s the point in even going to those games? To see the great Aubrey Huff? Talk about a team having ZERO chance of contending. Good luck matching up with the Red Sox, Yankees, Blue Jays (or even Devil Rays) with that pitching staff. Steve Trachsel? Good Lord. Oh for the days of Jim Palmer, Eddie Murray or even Cal Ripken, eh Oriole fan? Woe to you now.
Punch N. Judy says: I would have to say the lowly Washington Nationals. Until this team leaves their rat-infested temporary home at RKF, or, actually names an ownership group, I just can’t see baseball surviving in the nation’s capitol for - what - the third time now? Shame on Major League Baseball for not handling this situation a lot better. And just think: Only five short years ago Selig and Co. wanted to contract the Minnesota Twins.
Will this finally be the year an overweight MLB player will actually explode?
Heckler says: It might, rabbit, it might . . . My early favorites are the ever-increasing-in-girth David Wells, and the up-and-growing Prince Fielder. Can you imagine being in between these two Oliver Hardy’s and the last porkchop? Yikes. Could be a dangerous proposition. Take it from someone who has lost 120 pounds - it CAN be done, guys. You owe it to yourselves and your families to take some initiative and lose some weight. You’d also play better ball. You can’t convince me otherwise. All that weight is unhealthy for you in every way. You’re not sumo wrestlers. You’re ball players. Mix in a salad, try some cardio and start acting like it.
Punch N. Judy says: I kinda like my ball players fat and lumpy as opposed to shredded like Mr. Olympia hopefuls. It takes a little of the guess work out of the great “whose on the juice debate.” If they’re caught sneaking a smoke in the corner of the dugout, all the better. But back to question at hand. Yes, if he continues on his current pace Prince Fielder will indeed explode sometime at the end of this decade. Remember his old man looked downright skinny that first year in Detroit when he smacked 50 dingers. Maybe Prince should consider a season or two in the Far East. A little rice and fish couldn’t hurt.