By the Heckler
and Punch N. Judy
BASEBALL BIG MOUTH baseball blog

Welcome to a new feature here on BaseballBigMouth.com, something we like to call The MLB Hotbox – a wrap-up of baseball happenings bantered back-and-forth by your two favorite BaseballBigMouth writers, The Heckler and Punch N. Judy. Actually, those are the only two writers we have here on staff, but let’s not quibble over details, let’s get to some serious baseball talk instead, shall we? Quick - start reading! You’ve just been caught in the premiere edition of The MLB Hotbox!

Item #1: The Alfonso Soriano back-to-New York talk is heating up again, either to the Yankees or the Mets (depending on the rumor-du-jour) with the Dodgers also considered to be in the running.
 
The Heckler: The Yankees have missed this guy from the moment they gave him away for some guy named Alex Rodriquez (I wonder whatever became of that guy, anyway?) That being said, to get him back will take a lot – and the Yankees aren’t loaded with prospects like they once were (with 20-year-old pitcher Philip Hughes now heading the list of possible trade bait). While it may make for good Gotham newspaper copy, I’m betting he ends up across town playing second base at Shea Stadium – and won’t that just make ol’George a very happy man. Soriano is an amazingly-underrated performer that would electrify any lineup. I just hope its not the Dodgers. Outside of Vin Scully, the Heckler really can’t stand that team - or their late-arrivin’, early-leavin’, latte-sippin’, sun-soakin’ fanbase.

Punch N. Judy: Soriano is indeed a dynamic offensive force. Where he would fit in the Yankee lineup though is anyone’s guess. He already showed a childish disdain for the outfield when Frank “Crybaby” Robinson penciled him in there to start the year. Providing the Bombers get healthy sometime this season, Soriano’s presence could create a log-jam in the DH slot. They wouldn’t include Robinson Cano in a trade would they? The Mets have opened up some room on the right side by dealing Kaz Matsui, and Omar Minaya has shown an infatuation with Latin ballplayers since his return to the Big Apple, so if I was a betting man, I’d say Soriano will be a Met by the end of July.

Item #2: The Detroit Tigers Dmitri Young is now the subject of an arrest warrant after failing to appear on Tuesday in a Michigan court for a pretrial hearing on a domestic violence charge, stemming from an altercation where Young is accused of choking his then-girlfriend during an April 14 argument.

The Heckler: Ugh. An ugly season just gets even uglier for Young, who began the year supposedly determined to chase the ghosts that haunted him last season, including allegations of him bailing on his team after reaching a performance bonus clause in his contract piggybacking his refusal to enter some games when not in the starting line-up. He then showed up at camp what looked to be maybe 10 pounds lighter, after crowing about going through a boot camp-like physical routine in order to shape up for the new Jim Leyland-regime. From there, a quadriceps injury has put him on the DL twice, and – oh yeah – he’s hit a whopping .169 this year with 4 hrs. and 13 RBI. Wait, let’s not forget he has now reportedly entered the Betty Ford Center for alcohol rehabilitation. Turn the page, Tiger fans. This guy will forever remain a mere motor-mouthed poster boy of their horrific recent-past, as he has been a complete non-factor to the resurgent team this year, on route to becoming a free agent at season’s end. Good luck to ya, Dmitri. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

Punch N. Judy: Dmitri Young has officially joined the Tiger Hall of Shame with his recent exploits-his plaque hanging alongside those of Denny McClain, Bo Schembechler, Ugie Urbina and Robert Fick. From the moment this idiot arrived in camp with new holes in his belt, he’s been nothing more than a distraction. While the Tigers yearn for a little left-handed pop, Ol’ Dmitri is allegedly swinging for the fences against a defenseless young girl. Hopefully the club can exercise some type of conduct clause in this mutt’s contract and free themselves of him once and for all.

Item #3: Roger Clemens is in the midst of returning to the Houston Astros, fresh off his recent signing of a $22 million, one-year contract (pro-rated for the remainder of the season, Clemens will earn $14 million).

The Heckler: Was there really any doubt? Clemens can talk all he wants about how difficult of a decision it was in finally choosing to come back. I bet the 14-million reasons Houston will fork-over is all the incentive he ever needed. And why not, really? He has defied Mother Nature thus far, and the Heckler expects nothing but more Hall-of-Fame performances from this Cooperstown-bound hurler. Someone better remind him though, that he actually has to stay retired before being eligible for induction.

Punch N. Judy: Any mention of the Rocket is bittersweet in this fan’s eyes. At one time this guy was the only athlete I ever considered a role model. However, from the moment he became the greatest mercenary in baseball history by joining the Blue Jays, I have relished rooting against him. Killer work ethic aside, my suspicions run deep that Clemens has dabbled in a few performance enhancers as well. From his ridiculous contract, to his Ray Leonard like retirement announcements, I just wish the guy would go away to be honest with you. And please, no more October flashbulbs, okay Roger?

Have some different takes? Care to step-up and get in the game? Click the comments link below to let us know about it. There’s no need to be shy here gang. Everyone is welcome to join in the fun at BaseballBigMouth.com. Quit ridin’ the pines, you bush-leaguer!

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, June 14th, 2006 at 9:47 pm and is filed under The MLB Hotbox. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.