Foul Four: Tigers quartet to blame for woes
By Punch N. Judy
BaseballBigMouth.com baseball news
Nobody hates to be the voice of doom and gloom more than me, but the Tigers season — without a win today at Comerica Park – just may be over.
When the Indians board their bus today for Kansas City, there is at least one sure thing they have going for them: First place. The Tigers on the other hand get to roll out the red carpet for the surging New York Yankees and their slo-pitch softball lineup of thumpers. On the bright side, by at least taking three out of four, the Detroiters could kill two birds with one stone by keeping pace with the Tribe, while also making a dent in the Wild card standings.
Many of the Tigers recent woes can be rightfully attributed to the myriad of injuries suffered by both the pitching staff and the everyday lineup. That however, my friends, is what I call a copout. Rather the blame in my eyes falls squarely on four people.
Craig Monroe – After drawing comparisons right here as a clutch hitter of sometimes David Ortiz dimensions, Monroe and his Long John Silver-swing became more frustrating to watch than Chris Shelton ever did in 06.’ Had he not earned his manager’s respect for his deeds last year, Monroe may have been shipped out in June. When he wasn’t somehow packaged at the deadline, the writing on the wall for his immediate future was spelled out in huge block letters. Hopefully Monroe resists the urge hang out in shopping centers while he awaits a call that surely will come in the off-season.
Brandon Inge – I know, I know, he leads the league in assists and game saving web gems. He’s a pitcher’s best friend. As long as he hits .240 he’s an asset to any big league club. Well you know what? I’m calling Bullsh*t. For every game saving defensive play Inge has made, he has stranded at least two runners with less than two out. Sometimes in the same game. Enough’s enough. Learn to shorten your swing dude, or follow Dmitri Young and your buddy Monroe out the door.
Justin Verlander and Jeremy Bonderman – My beef with these two birds are identical: Enough with the Jekyll and Hyde already. With the rest of the rotation in a constant state of disarray, a little consistency out of the clubs two horses sure would be nice. Verlander’s effort last night was abysmal when you consider the number of two strike hits he surrendered. As far as Bonderman goes, maybe Todd Jones should pitch the first inning, get it out of the way, and let Bonderman go from there.
Clown of the Week – Michael Kay, YES Network play-by-play man. As the Minister of Disinformation on Al Yankzeera, Kay is no stranger to the absurd. His comments the other day however had even his yeah buddy partner Al Leiter up in arms. In discussing Joel Zumaya and badly injured middle finger, Kay wondered aloud if perhaps Zumaya could have gutted it out for the team and gripped the ball with one finger. Say what? After demonstrating how impossible that would be (by showing Kay how you actually grip a baseball) Kay simply agreed to disagree. Don’t forget your shoes and red nose in the booth now, Michael.
Quote of the Week – “I’m back man.” Joel Zumaya after returning triumphantly in the opener of the Tigers-Indians series. After retiring the only batter he faced with upper nineties gas, Zumaya recaptured the sellout crowd’s collective imagination. Amen.
Editor’s note - Baseball and Eggs will appear every Thursday, and serves as a form of self–therapy for this clinically insane baseball fan. The baseball part is self–explanatory. The eggs however, could pertain to just about anything on Punch’s mind from Thursday to Thursday.
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