By The Heckler
Baseball Big Mouth
baseball news 

Look, The Heckler‘ll say right up front - I like Sean Casey – he hit the ball a ton in the post-season last year, is a great teammate and can flat-out pick-it at first – but hitting .252 without a homerun and a mere 10 RBI on May 22nd is a red alert to look elsewhere for a regular first baseman. That cannot be denied. With that in mind, SI.com’s Jon Heyman’s idea for a Troy Glaus acquisition by Detroit from Toronto makes a lot of sense to these ol’eyes. Sure, he would be another right-handed hitter in a line-up stacked from that side of the plate, but what other alternative is there?

“Hee-hee! You ain’t gonna take my job, are ya Troy!?!” 

The overpriced Todd Helton? Does Detroit really need to add another multi-multi-multi million player - and one rapidly in decline at that? Scratch him: he’s owed $92 million through 2012. I know we’re all holding our breath for Texas’ Mark Teixeira to sign-on next year as a free agent (especially after outright gushing about possibly signing with the city last year on local radio) but this year is this year, and the Tigers need some help there — and in a hurry. Would you really want to trade for someone you could have for nothing next year? And no, don’t even think about Chris Shelton as an alternative - the one-month Wonder Kid from last year. He can’t even hit Triple A pitching anymore, either. Thus far? A .260 average and only two homeruns for Shelton. It’s too bad (he looked so good at one time) but it appears his prospect days may be over, all before they really even had begun. That being said, back to the the parent club and what to do at first.

I’d keep Casey regardless if the Tigers picked up someone else. He makes little dough and — at this stage of his career — would surely settle into a Dave Bergman-type role nicely: good lefty backup; nice glove for late innings; good guy in the clubhouse; solid member of a 25-man squad. Just not a starting first-baseman anymore, that’s all. Adding Glaus from a Toronto team sure to start dealing as the reality of another failed season sinks-in could be another nice bat to add to the mix - right side or left side. Would Toronto do a Mike Maroth for Glaus straight-up? Just a thought. You don’t think they’d actually peddle Lyle Overbay, do ya? Hmmm . . .

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Welcome to the first installment this season of our wildly-popular MLB Hotbox feature. Here, BaseballBigMouth.com  writers The Heckler and Punch N. Judy go back-and-forth over some topical baseball happenings, you know, like a hotbox in baseball. Yes fans, there truly is no off position on the genius switch: we thought of that title all by ourselves. Ain’t we clever? But enough patting ourselves on the back like some modern-day Barry Horowitz, let’s get this puppy a runnin’! Ladies and gentlemen . . . you’re caught in the MLB Hotbox! 

         

Does MLB commissioner Bud Selig really deserve to make $14 million per year?

Heckler says: Can’t say as I really have a problem with this. The man is essentially the CEO of one of the most-prolific corporations in America today (if not the world) and, as such, deserves to be paid a handsome salary for that position. Besides, that figure is hardly exorbitant. It’s basically the average salary of a top MLB player. He’s worth that. He has been at the helm during a real turnaround for the game and, barring he can get out the door before the you-know-what really hits the fan with the steroid scandal, should go out on top in good standing for a job essentially well-done. “Steroids? What steroids?!?” Easy Bud, I was just mentioning it, that’s all . . .

Punch N. Judy says: You raise a valid point that I never really took into consideration. MLB is beyond the realm of most Fortune 500 hundred companies. His salary does, however give one pause to consider what the individual teams really do haul in at seasons end. In any case, it will be hard to ever take the owners side again during a future labor dispute.

Heckler says: Baltimore comes to mind for me, and have so for a few years now. All huff and puff in signing free agents every year, yet in the end, they always end up blowing. Once Miguel Tejada whines his way outta there, what’s the point in even going to those games? To see the great Aubrey Huff? Talk about a team having ZERO chance of contending. Good luck matching up with the Red Sox, Yankees, Blue Jays (or even Devil Rays) with that pitching staff. Steve Trachsel? Good Lord. Oh for the days of Jim Palmer, Eddie Murray or even Cal Ripken, eh Oriole fan? Woe to you now.

Punch N. Judy says: I would have to say the lowly Washington Nationals. Until this team leaves their rat-infested temporary home at RKF, or, actually names an ownership group, I just can’t see baseball surviving in the nation’s capitol for - what - the third time now?  Shame on Major League Baseball for not handling this situation a lot better. And just think: Only five short years ago Selig and Co. wanted to contract the Minnesota Twins.

Will this finally be the year an overweight MLB player will actually explode?

Heckler says: It might, rabbit, it might . . . My early favorites are the ever-increasing-in-girth David Wells, and the up-and-growing Prince Fielder. Can you imagine being in between these two Oliver Hardy’s and the last porkchop? Yikes. Could be a dangerous proposition. Take it from someone who has lost 120 pounds - it CAN be done, guys. You owe it to yourselves and your families to take some initiative and lose some weight. You’d also play better ball. You can’t convince me otherwise. All that weight is unhealthy for you in every way. You’re not sumo wrestlers. You’re ball players. Mix in a salad, try some cardio and start acting like it.

Punch N. Judy says: I kinda like my ball players fat and lumpy as opposed to shredded like Mr. Olympia hopefuls. It takes a little of the guess work out of the great “whose on the juice debate.” If they’re caught sneaking a smoke in the corner of the dugout, all the better. But back to question at hand. Yes, if he continues on his current pace Prince Fielder will indeed explode sometime at the end of this decade. Remember his old man looked downright skinny that first year in Detroit when he smacked 50 dingers. Maybe Prince should consider a season or two in the Far East. A little rice and fish couldn’t hurt.

Well it’s about that time. Or as somebody’s mother would inevitably say when you are in the throes of a lengthy little league slump, “you guys are due . . . yer overdue! Yes folks its time for MLB Hotbox, the segment where The Heckler in Punch N. Judy go back and forth with a few answers to some pertinent questions being asked as the pennant race enters the home stretch. 

So, what do you make of this Ryan Howard kid?

Punch says: Absolutely refreshing. Even though a cloud of suspicion will always hang over every big leaguer, I truly think this guy is on the up and up. BBM staffers have always said that there should only be 10-15 true strongmen playing in the same year. It goes back to tradition. The big thumpers play first, third, (or in the AL’s case, DH as well) and if you’re lucky enough one or both of the corner outfield spots. I never thought there was a guy in either league that I would rather have up than Albert Pujols or David Ortiz, but hey this guy is just plain unconscious. 

Heckler says: Who’d a thought the little red-headed scamp from Andy Griffith would grow up to be such an accomplished Hollywood director?! Oh, wait a minute . . . you said Ryan Howard, didn’t ya. Oops. Yeah, he’s pretty good, too. In fact, he’s better than pretty good. He’s downright scary. Word has it he isn’t even the biggest member of his family, either. Forget all the steroids talk. This guy’s a masher in the tradition of Jimmie Foxx. He’s a treat to see him mash - and mash is definitely what he’s doing. It’s also good for the game.

Why do you think the Tigers gave Dmitri Young the ziggy?

Punch says: From what I’m reading locally and hearing on sports radio, there doesn’t seem to be one particular reason for the move. However, I would like to know when batting third in your last game before getting the guillotine replaced the old blindfold and cigarette. Maybe this Tiger management team is as adept at the art of covering up as they are at grooming young pitching.

Heckler says: So many rumors coming out that the truth must lie somewhere in there, but at the moment though, no one is really sure. From what I hear, he was basically all “Me! Me! Me!” since his return, and didn’t get involved in any sort of “team” mentality. That’s also a characteristic of an alcoholic mind, too. It’s a very self-centered, narcissistic disease. Yes, he’s recovering, but those traits would still be hard to kick. A 12-step program, a few laps around a track, a no-contest plea in court and a short stint in AAA doesn’t make one ready again for the big leagues. I wish him luck, but I support the move. More time for Thames, too. Right-handed or left-handed, he’s going to hit some big homeruns for us down the stretch. He’s another man’s man out there.

Speaking of that Tigers pitching staff, though . . .

Punch says: Unbelievable. The hard statistics alone will shock and awe any baseball observer. The best of the bunch to me is Verlander followed by Robertson, Rogers, and Bonderman. You might think of that as a negative indictment on Bonderman, but believe me its not. That’s just how I see it. My only concern lies in the amount of innings Verlander will have to throw should the Tigers go deep into the post-season. 

Heckler says: I’m worried about everything to do with the Tigers, really - but ain’t it great? I’d still give the nod to Kinny myself, if for nothing else than his propensity to pitch big in big games (forgetting his New York stint). He’s been everything advertised and more for that staff this year. Verlander comes in second, followed by Bondy and Robertson. They’re all capable of great things at any time, though.

What about that AL Central? 

Punch says: I hate to say it but as bright as the Tigers future looks they could very well be in Cleveland’s boat come next season. This division is only getting tougher year by year. These teams were built to last the old fashion way: through scouting and player development. No need to mortgage the future at the trade deadline or break the bank in the off-season. However, Detroit does have deep pocket ownership, coupled with younger pitching than any other franchise. I do feel a little sympathy though for Kansas City. If you through them in the NL they’d probably at least be involved in the cluster bomb that is that leagues wild card race.

Heckler says: Don’t feel too bad for K.C. They could be next year’s Detroit. True enough, the AL Central is stacked - but so is the Tigers’ pitching cupboard. I expect Dave Dombrowski to unleash a big trade or two in the off-season to bolster the offense, and they’ll need to do so in order to keep-up with the White Sox, Twins and Indians (who should have someone remind them the real games start in April, not July).

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